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How to Overcome Shyness

How to Overcome Shyness

Have you ever experienced a situation when you were afraid or uncomfortable around the people surrounding you? Have you ever been hesitant to speak to someone or even speak up for yourself because you were afraid that you would say or do the wrong thing? Does your palms get sweaty, heart start pounding, or you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have to be in the spotlight even for a few minutes? If the answer is yes, then you have experienced shyness at some point in your life, as most people have.

How to Overcome Shyness
Everyone of us experiences diffidence at one point or another in life. There are people who are hesitant to talk in front of a crowd, there are women who are too afraid to wear short skirts and dresses, there are a lot of men who are kind' a withdrawn to approach girls. 

Though it is usual, shyness can sometimes ruin your day. When you’re too shy about anything, you can hardly express yourself, you’ll find it hard to gain friends, and people might find a hard time trying to be with you. And for naturally shy people, lack of confidence seems to become a part of life. 

No matter how shy you are, the good thing is you can always conquer it. There are many ways to overcome shyness, and while it may take some practice, it is really not all that difficult to conquer. This article will help you to finally go out of your nutshell, shook away shyness, and become a better person.

According to the research, shyness can be found in introverted as well as extroverted people. It is caused by the following three things: 
  • Excessive Self-Consciousness – Where you are extremely aware of yourself, especially in various social situations.
  • Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation – Where you view yourself in a negative light.
  • Excessive Negative Pre-Occupation – Where you tend to concentrate on the things that you are doing wrong when you are with other people.
Understanding where your mind is when you are experiencing shyness is the first step to understanding how to overcome shyness. Knowing what triggers these feelings in you will help you to anticipate them and learn coping mechanisms to get through them.

The second step in how to overcome your shyness is to turn your self consciousness into self-awareness. Although this may sound like the statement above, it is not. Having an understanding that people are not looking at you or paying attention to the things that you feel that you are doing, should help to put your mind at ease.

The third step in how to overcome your shyness is to celebrate your strengths. Know what you are good at and practice being good at it. We all have strengths, and while some people are not social butterflies, they have talents that cause other people to seek them out. Unfortunately, social situations are a way of life but being comfortable in them requires a little bit more practice for some people than others.

Why Am I Shy

When you want to overcome the shyness that you deal with on a regular basis, it’s important to actually better understand the problem. What causes a person to be shy? Most people aren’t sure why they feel shy, which means it’s more difficult for them to deal with this problem and get beyond it. You’ll actually find that there are specific reasons that people deal with shyness. Let's have a look at the problems that causes a person to be shy:

Problem #1 : You’re Preoccupied with Yourself

Sometimes when you are with other people, you may feel like you are at the center stage, which can make you very sensitive about yourself. This stage fright and performance anxiety will play a big role in your ability to communicate with others. When you feel this stage fright, you will find that you are too focused on yourself and on presenting the “perfect” image to those around you. Sometimes you may cause a cycle of feeling that you can’t do anything right because your senses become heightened to everything that you do.

The good news is that you can get beyond this preoccupation when you realize that it is occurring. You will find that a surprisingly small number of people around you are actually paying attention to you and what you do.

Problem #2: You Have a Weak Self Image

A large number of the people who suffer from shyness are found to have a poor self-image, low self-esteem, and hence, lack of confidence. You may think that you are not attractive, not as charming or witty as those around you, or you feel you can’t think of something to talk about.

Often your weak self-image goes back to school. You may think that you weren’t cool, that no one admired you, or that you didn’t have good qualities. Most kids in school work to fit into school and those around them, which can cause further problems. You may have tried fitting in so much that you don’t even feel like yourself anymore. It’s easy to start viewing others as being cooler and more interesting than you, which can lead to anxiety and shyness in the future.

It’s important to get beyond this weak self-image. In order to overcome your shyness, you will need to work on building your self-confidence back up to a healthy level that will enable you to be outgoing and reach out and interact with others. Start working to realize all that you really have to offer and understand that it’s okay to be yourself. 

Problem #3: You Label Yourself

Labeling is also a problem that can lead to problems with shyness. Many people make the mistake of labeling themselves as a shy person, which makes them feel like they have to live up to this expectation. You may start to believe that this is really how you are and you may even begin believing that you cannot change. Soon you may feel that people expect you to be shy, so you don’t work to get over this shyness.

Labels hung on a person can stick with them for the rest of their life. If you have been labelled by others, or you have hung labels on yourself, you will find that these labels will stop you from interacting with others easily.

Labeling will be as true as you let them be. If you think you are one way, that is how you will be. If you think you are confident, you will be so. If you think you are shy, you will be so. Change the labels that are hung on you to change the way you react in a situation.

10 Steps to Overcome Shyness

Overcoming shyness is vital, as many people find that their lives could be much better if they could simply force themselves to talk to someone to whom they are attracted or interested. If you suffer from shyness, here are 10 steps that will help you to overcome your inability to communicate and will transform you into a person of confidence.

Step 1: Understand Yourself

Understanding your shyness and the reasons behind it will play a large role in your overcoming it, as it will help you to see why you are shy.

Step 2: Become Self-Aware

A surprising number of people have no idea of what they are capable of, what they can do, and what they have to offer those around them. In order to turn your shyness into self-confidence, you need to be aware of what makes you unique.

Step 3: Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has something that they are good at, whether it is something personal or professional. Building confidence means building on the things you are confident about, such as your abilities, looks, personality, etc. Focus on the things that you are good at, and you will find that confidence will come as you play to your strengths.

Step 4: Love Yourself

Shyness has a great deal to do with lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. In order to overcome your shyness, you will need to begin to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You may have things that you don’t like about yourself, but everyone has something they can offer those around them.

Step 5: Be Unique

The thing that makes you such a wonderful person is that you are unique from everyone else around you. If you can find those things that make you different from everyone else, you will find that you will be much more likely to be confident about these things.

Step 6: Breathe

Shyness is often accompanied by anxiety and stress, and you will find that taking deep breaths can help you to overcome your anxiety. Breathe deeply, take the time to relax, and let the stress flow from your body. (See here: Relaxation Techniques to Reduce Stress and Anxiety)

Step 7: Focus on Others

Don’t think about yourself as you step out to talk and interact with others, but think about them. If you think about your shyness, it will stand in your way like a brick wall. If you can think about how the other person feels in the situation, you will find that your shyness is no longer an issue.

Step 8: Move

Movement can be one of the best ways to release your stress and tension when interacting with others, which is the reason that so many people go dancing. If you are stressed or tense, move around, dance, or take a short walk to help you reduce the tension you feel.

Step 9: Visualize

See yourself being successful and confident, and you will be.

Step 10: Quit Being Perfect

No one in the world is perfect, and you will never be able to have the perfect interaction with anyone. Stop trying, and you will find that your interaction is much easier and more comfortable.

Tips & Ways to Overcome Shyness

Overcoming your inability to communicate with others can be difficult, but you will find that dealing with your shyness will be an important part of living life to the full. Shyness stops you from enjoying all of the best parts of life, but you will find that building your confidence will play a huge role in giving you the freedom to truly enjoy your life. Here are some great tips that will help you to overcome your inability to communicate and can help boost your confidence:
  • The best thing that you can do to boost your confidence is to become comfortable with yourself. Rather than being angsty or shy about what you consider to be defects or flaws in your personality or character, enjoy yourself for who you are. Revel in the fact that all of the things in your life make you unique, and get comfortable with being yourself.
  • Stop being so seriously and taking life too seriously. Many people are shy because they feel the need to perform or achieve something. The reality of life is that you can enjoy life without taking things too seriously, and you will find that lightening up and living life with fewer concerns will help you to be more confident.
  • Don’t overthink the process of communicating, dating, or overcoming your shyness. Take it one step at a time. Focus on overcoming your shyness one day at a time, one action at a time, and one conversation at a time.
  • Don’t worry about rationalizing or thinking logically about the process of building your confidence. Confidence will come in time, so you shouldn’t worry about trying to build within a timeframe or according to a schedule. The best thing that you can do is to do your part to build your confidence and overcome your shyness, and you will find that it will come much more naturally.
  • Remember that being shy is just a matter of being proud. When you are shy, you are so focused on looking good and being the best in the eyes of others that you totally fail to do anything. If you want to overcome your shyness, get over yourself and forget about what people think about you. Step out and enjoy interacting with others, and you will find that you can enjoy your life much more without worrying about what others think.
  • Don’t always do things or go places where you are comfortable. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, as that will be the only way that you will be able to do anything with your life. Step out of your personal zone of comfort, and you will find that life will be much better once you expand your horizons.
  • Use your mind to help overcome your shyness. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal, and you will find that using positive thinking can help you to overcome your shyness. Bend your mind and harness your will to the task, and set about overcoming shyness one day at a time.

Transforming Shyness into Confidence

A number of people that suffer from shyness have the problem of insufficient contact with members of the opposite sex. A man that grew up in a home filled with boys may find that he has difficulty communicating with women due to his lack of contact with them. It may surprise men and women both to find that their upbringing plays a large role in your confidence and your ability to communicate easily.

Another factor that contributes to people’s shyness is a low self-esteem. When people consider themselves as unattractive, or they think they have nothing to offer, they often develop an introverted personality that is very hard to break out of. When dealing with people who suffer from shyness, it may have a good deal to do with a low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in one’s abilities.

If you are looking to overcome any problems you have with shyness, you will find that building your confidence is the best way to do so. The truth of the matter is that building confidence is the key to success. Confidence is what helps you to look people in the eye, stand up straight, and speak and communicate clearly. If you can build your self-confidence, you will find that your problems with shyness will disappear nearly overnight.

   Read hereHow to Build Self-Confidence & Improve Self-Esteem

The reason that many people are shy is that they think they don’t have anything to offer members of either sex, but the truth that you need to remember is that everyone has something to offer. Even if you don’t feel like you are the best in every area of your personal and professional life, you have something about you that makes you unique and interesting. If you can think about those things that set you apart from the rest of the crowd, the things that make you you, you might be pleasantly surprised to find that other people are interested in you as well.

The secret to overcoming shyness is simple: fake it till you make it. A surprising number of terribly shy people have overcome their shyness and transformed it into confidence by simply pretending that they were confident, getting out of themselves, and forcing themselves to interact with the people around whom they felt most shy. George Bernard Shaw is considered one of the most famous orators of the 20th century, but he was a painfully shy young man. He had to force himself to attend debates and actually speak in the debates, and he overcame his shyness. If he could do so, then you can too. It will require a bit of work, but you will find that your shyness can be transformed into confidence if you are willing to work at it.

How to Boost your Confidence to Overcome Shyness

Boosting your confidence can help you to overcome problems that you have with shyness, and below are some practical things that you can do to boost your confidence with the goal of overcoming your shyness:
  • Write down all of the successes of every day (It can be something as small as making a tasty food). Anything that you do successfully should be written down in a book, and you can read back over your week’s successes to help you build your confidence in your abilities.
  • Force yourself to do things that will get you out of your comfort zone, things that will make you comfortable with being uncomfortable. Many people that suffer from shyness also suffer from the tendency to stay in their comfort zone, and you need to step out of that zone and push yourself to the limits of your comfort. Force yourself to go to parties, clubs, bars, and other places where you will have to interact with people. Force yourself to talk to others, even if that is the last thing you feel like doing. You will find that pushing yourself will actually be very effective, and you will find that the borders of your comfort zone will be expanded as you step out to try new things.
  • Facing your shyness problem head on is the only way to overcome it. If you are very shy, you will find that dealing with your shyness from the root of the problem will be the solution. Find out why you are shy, how your shyness affects your life, and change those things. Once you find out what makes you shy, visualize the changes you want to make in your life. Once you find how your shyness affects your life, force yourself to do the opposite of the things that you would normally do in a situation where shyness would take over.
  • Make sure to relax. If you are very shy, you will find that your body becomes very tense and very stressed when you force it to do something uncomfortable. Relax, breathe deeply, and find a way to reduce the tension you feel when you are stepping out to try something new. A drink may work to help you relax, or fresh air can often fill your blood with oxygen and help you to relax.
  • Prepare to deal with tough situations beforehand. If you are ready to face a challenge, it ends up being much less difficult than you originally thought. Prepare to go out with friends, attend a party, make an important presentation, or do anything else where shyness would try to hinder you. You will find that being prepared will help you to focus on your task, as you have already done all of the work before you ever left home or the office.

How to Overcome Shyness at Work

Dealing with shyness can be difficult for many people, especially those that are forced to stare their problems with communication in the face every day as a result of their work. Overcoming shyness is one of the most important things that you need to do in order to make progress in your career, as all but a few careers involve interaction with people of both sexes. In order to help you progress in your career, here are five tips that can help you to deal with your shyness:
  1. Find out what is making you shy. Are you suffering from anxiety, or is a lack of self-confidence the thing that is stopping you from communicating effectively? Do you lack an understanding of how to behave in various social situations, or are you just uncomfortable in most places and situations? Understanding the reasons for your shyness will help you to overcome the problem, as you will be able to correct the problem by addressing its cause.
  2. Be your best. Many people think that they are shy due to the fact that they don’t have anything to offer people, but striving to perform your best in every area of your life will help to build your confidence that you really are good at what you do. While you may not master every skill or trade, being the best at what you do will help to boost your self-confidence. If you want to overcome your shyness effectively, then strive to be the best at what you do. You will find that the affirmation of others in your professional life will carry over into your personal life.
  3. Get rid of labels. A surprising number of people are labeled by friends and coworkers - the “person who gets to work late”, the “girl who always wears casual clothes”, or the “shy guy who can never talk to strangers”? These labels can stick with you for the rest of your life, and you will find that these labels will actually get in the way of healthy interaction with those around you. Others are not the only ones that hang labels on you, but you tend to label yourself as well. To deal with your shyness, get rid of external and internal labels.
  4. Revel in your uniqueness. There are many things that make you unique from everyone else around you, and these things are what make you a person that will be interesting to those with whom you come in contact. If you can be grateful for the things that make you unique, and you can highlight these things, you will find that you will become interesting for those around you for these things.
  5. Body language and attitude is key. Surprisingly, you will find that pretending to be confident will play a great part in your actual confidence. If you stand straight, hold yourself erect, and look confident, you will find that you will actually begin to feel confident. Fake it until you make it, and you will find that your acting confident will transform itself into real confidence.

Relaxation and Other Tricks to Eliminate Shyness

While you have probably heard about many methods of eliminating the problem of shyness in your life, you may not have thought about using tricks like relaxation to overcome this. You may be surprised to find that you can quickly and easily get over this issue that is holding you back. Here is a look at relaxation and other great tricks you can use to eliminate shyness.

Deep Breathing to Relax and Overcome Shyness

When you feel shy, you probably tense up and feel uptight. Relaxing is important and can help you to overcome shyness in your life. One of the tricks you can use to relax and eliminate shyness is to use deep breathing. While it may sound strange, breathing the right way can actually be a huge help. When you are feeling shy, the fear and anxiety can quickly start to overwhelm you. However, breathing exercises can be a huge help. To overcome the anxiety and to relax in these situations, work to take deep breaths while closing your eyes. Focus on the breathing and as you exhale, focus on clearing away the negative thoughts in your mind. Use this in situations where you feel shy. You’ll relax and focus on your breathing, helping to leave the shyness behind you.

   See here : Relaxation Techniques to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

Using Movement to Release Anxiety

Another trick you may want to try to eliminate shyness is using movement to release your anxiety. Anxiety is often viewed as energy that is blocked in your body. You need to find a way to release the anxiety, which will help you to relax and deal with shyness. Physical movement is one of the best ways to release and eliminate the anxiety that you are feeling. Try exercising to get rid of some of this energy you are dealing with. Jogging or walking both can be effective, helping you to refresh your mind. Meditation is another method that can help you to release that anxiety. You can focus on tensing specific muscles and then relaxing them to let the anxiety float away from your body. (See here: Progressive Muscle Relaxation)

Visualization Exercises You Can Use

You’ll also find that visualization exercises can be used to help you overcome problems with shyness. This is all done within your mind. Try to use your mind to visualize yourself as confident in social situations. To start out, work on relaxing and closing your eyes, envisioning yourself without shyness. Focus on the situation being the way you want it to be. Think about how it feels, the sounds you hear, and the things you see. Make this feel real. Continue to do these visualization exercises on a regular basis. This will help you in real social situations to have positive energy that helps to dissipate the shyness you often deal with.

To sum up...

here are three steps that will help you to finally go out of your nutshell, shook away shyness, and become a better person:

Learn to Accept Imperfections

The first and ultimate way to overcome shyness is to accept that as a human being, you are not perfect; he is not perfect; she is not perfect - EVERYONE is basically not perfect. If you’re shy to speak in front of the class because you always stammer and you can hardly pronounce words right, then the first thing to do is become aware of it. Know what makes you shy. Once you figured out your imperfections, proceed with the next step.

Learn how to outweigh your imperfections with your strengths

Don’t get overwhelmed with your weaknesses. Of course, if the imperfection is innate, you can’t just change it no matter what you do (such as physical disabilities). But then again, it need not stop you from overcoming shyness. Look for your strengths because sure you have. Then let your strengths overcome your weaknesses. Once you’ve done this, you will learn to appreciate yourself and people will appreciate you more.

Overcoming Shyness takes time but that time will come for sure, if you want it to

You don’t get rid of your shyness in a snap. It takes time. It’s a continuous progression. Learning how to overcome shyness is not a one-stop process. It requires your effort, time, and dedication to become a better person.


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